We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
