I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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