she looked like the bat from fern gully.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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