I heard we made out
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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