I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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