Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Randomize
