Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Randomize
