The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
