I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
