That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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