He kissed a someone with a penis
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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