He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
