I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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