physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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