Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
