How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
