I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
