I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
