I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
