if i can run in heels then i can drive
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
