my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
