high people should be assigned attendants
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
