Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
Randomize