i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Randomize
