dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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