All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
