I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
