Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
