Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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