Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
