Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
Randomize
