I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
