ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
