So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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