We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
