Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
