I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
