Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
