He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
