I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
You've changed since you got that strap on
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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