I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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