I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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