I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
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