I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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