A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
