That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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