I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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