Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
Success! We fucked roommates!
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