So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
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