I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
