Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
