im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
