Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Randomize
